“Just because, I mean, no disrespect to Camilla, I’m not a good lookin person either, but she isn’t a stunner & yet she’s gone & picked up a royal.”

“Knowledge is almost annoyin’.” Yep, ignorance is bliss

“If you’ve got, like, problems, don’t think New York is the answer.”

“Do you know why it’s called Mount Everest? It’s because, it’s a large Mount, & if you climb it, by the time you get to the top, you need to ‘ave a rest.”

“I know that when I was a kid, I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.”

“If it’s all about arse, why don’t gays like a little bit of tit?”

“There’s more divs on the world than… better ones.” Just perfect.

“I could eat a knob at night.” Karl on how it’s hard to eat kangaroo penis in the morning, but easy at night.

“Sometimes, people have to die, don’t they. There was a fella outside our house who hit a lamp post; he had a helmet on, but his head came off.”

“What is that? Why’s- Where did that happen, the ginger thing, why do people give ‘em, like, ‘ard time ‘n that?” 

“I just think, at the end of the day, I tell you what. Don’t say anythin’. Sometimes, you can say it best when you don’t say anythin’ at all, Ronan Keating said that.” Karl thinking of something to say whilst 10ft away from a gorilla.

“I’m gonna be sick in yer Japanese garden!” Karl after eating a fish in Japan that’d been fermented for 3 years.

“I’m gonna go more & more mental as the series goes on… ‘Idiot in a coma’.”

“Man-moths?” Steve was telling Karl how scientists were/are going to clone mammoths for a theme park & Karl misheard him. 

“If a french woman was talking to me, I’d say ‘I don’t know what yer talkin’ ‘bout, love, but it sounds good’.” I love charming Karl.